Chapel Hill

Yup. I'm here.

My last couple of months in Grand Rapids were fairly miserable after a falling out with my thesis advisor. Advice: don't ever fall out with your thesis advisor. Oh well. I lost sight of why I was coming to North Carolina and so postponed (cancelled) my move planned for the end of May and decided to just sit still and think for a while about why I wanted to come and, indeed, if I wanted to come. It wasn't even so much that I didn't want to do the PhD work, but that I hated to leave Grand Rapids. I have loved living there and have wonderful friends and family there.

I talked about the decision with several trusted people, and was amazed that they all said "You can do whatever you want. If you don't want to go, that's fine." And those in Grand Rapids said "Great - please do stay." Finally, however, my friends Gideon and Angela helped me to remember why I wanted to come - simply because this is my passion and my delight - to study, to learn, to read, to write, to think, to stretch. Oh. Yes. I'd forgotten in the turmoil of the thesis mess. But yes, this is what I want to do.

And so I left GR nearly two weeks ago. But it's not really leaving as such. My friend Mary Beth said "well, I never thought of it as leaving - more like going away to school and coming home on vacations." Now there's a thought. All my life I've left places and arrived in new places, holding on to friends, of course, but, nevertheless, ending one and starting another. This time, though, I can still call GR home, and know that I have a big family and community of people who love me and whom I love there. And I have plans to go "home" at Christmas. Somehow, that made the leaving easier.

I took a week to travel down here. And the stress and depression lifted. I spent a delightful weekend in Indianapolis contra dancing, meeting up with people I'd met before at these things, and meeting some new people. Danced a lot, hung out, slept. Then two days in Lexington with one of the dancers, Charley, who was a perfect host. He took me out in the surrounding country in his little MGB with the top down of course. And went off to work in the mornings, leaving me to explore, read, and generally wind down. Then two more days, camping at night in my new little tent in national forest campgrounds beside lakes. So, by the time I arrived here in Chapel Hill, I was well rested and ready for the many small minor hassles associated with moving.

I am so laid back still that nothing fazes me. Not even having no electricity for nearly a week. Or discovering that the AC didn't work once the power was on. Many things are falling into place beautifully. I have found a church I like - actually, the first one I went to. A Catholic church which is not too big, has friendly people, good preaching (!), and a mission statement that suggests they are involved in the surrounding community and that they take their spirituality seriously. The church bulletin seems to corroborate this.

I have my new laptop, a graduation present from my dear friend Patrick. Because I got it through the university, I have 24 hour help available - a marvellous thing, when one is ironing out the glitches of a new machine - I have made almost daily use of this service! On campus, there is wireless internet everywhere, so I can sit under a tree with my cup of coffee and check my email - and have done so, if only so that I could say I can!

I've met many of my neighbors - before the AC came on, I spent a lot of time sitting out in the relative cool of the breezeway, aptly called. Next door is an extended family of Mexicans, only one of whom speaks English. My Spanish now extends to ola and como stas, but I have hopes of learning more. I keep thinking of the book I read this spring "The Short Sweet Dream of Eduardo Gutierrez" by Jimmy Breslin. The most touching thing of that book was the terrible homesickness suffered by these people who come to the US looking for a better life for their families. It makes me feel very gentle to my neighbors. I ache for them. This family have been lovely to me too - offered me a beer the evening I moved in and, when I accepted, went out to buy some. Hospitality. Then invited me in to watch TV and switched from the Spanish channel to English for me. At least 8 people live in that apartment - the same size as the one I am living in alone. I feel somehow decadent.

Also, downstairs are a young couple with a two year old. They also are fostering a two month old baby whose mother is a crack addict. We've spent a lot time talking - they are working hard to support their children in several part time jobs. And have been sweet to me in many ways, easing my transition here.

I had a letter this week outlining my TA (teaching assistant) duties for the year. I'll be TA to Armin Lange, the guy I met in the spring who may well direct my dissertation work. In the fall I will be TA for his Introduction to Hebrew Scriptures course, and then in the spring, to Introduction to Dead Sea Scrolls. Couldn't be better! I'm excited.

The manager/administrator of the Religious Studies Department, Hope, has been kind and helpful. And yesterday, she gave me the keys to the department! Literally. I feel like I've arrived. It just seemed so significant to me.

I love my apartment. It is large, airy, light. And it takes 15 minutes by bike or bus to the campus. I can walk to the grocery store. Even at night.

And there's lots of contra dancing in this area. I went to one on Friday night (less than a mile's walk from home) and another on Saturday. People were friendly and welcoming and the dancing was fun.

I met a blind guy called Jason shortly after I arrived. He has funds to pay people to read for him. He's doing a Masters in Classics and so was greatly interested in my Latin and Greek - and it's looking like I can do some reading for him straight away - and then probably on a regular basis once classes start. Very fine.

I'm reading "The Active Life" by Parker Palmer. It's been on my bookshelf for some 5 years, and I pulled it down to read it now. Timely. He talks about the balance and connection between action and contemplation. It was no coincidence I am sure, that the sermon on Sunday was about the Mary and Martha story. Hah. So I am listening carefully to God. And thinking about how I can prepare myself for the inevitable flurry and frenzy that will come when school starts. I feel like I'm being given a chance to do things a little differently than in the past, and perhaps to do it with more integrity (according to Websters "the quality or state of being complete or undivided").

I miss my community in Grand Rapids. I miss having someone to call and say "let's go out for a beer". But know I will meet some good people soon. And in the meantime, I unpack a little more each day - literally and figuratively!