Very sad news

John Walden, the husband of my sister Maggi, died last Friday.
John went in to hospital the previous Friday night for a kidney and pancreas transplant and the operation was a success. He came through beautifully and was actually producting insulin by the next day, which meant that he was no longer diabetic. They took him back in to surgery on Monday to sort out some internal bleeding, and that was OK too. But back in ICU a series of "seriously untoward incidents" (I think that's what they called it) happened, and he was deprived of oxygen. They kept him on life support for the next few days, just in case, but by Friday they were sure that his brain was dead. And so we - Maggi, John's mother (Jill), his best friend from childhood (Karen) and friends Andrea and David - gathered round his bed, drank a bottle of very good red wine, broke bread that he had made just before he went in, and allowed the doctors to turn off the machines.
He was 44. Maggi is - well, what can I say? - Maggi is suffering. And it breaks my heart to see her so. And there is nothing that I can say or do. Except sit with her. Like Job's friends.
I had jumped on a plane as soon as it was evident that things had gone awry. So I arrived at the hospital a few hours before he died. And can stay with her till after the funeral.
When is the funeral? Well, that's the awful thing, is that we don't know yet. Because of the nature of his death, they need to do a post mortem. And that's not till Monday. And they can't issue a death certificate until that's all finished. Hopefully after Monday, but it's not certain.
We are tentatively planning the funeral for next Friday (a week tomorrow) but it could turn out to be not till the following week.
Susie, our other sister, has been here for the last 5 days - but had to go home today to her family in Texas. Peter, Maggi's twin brother, arrives tomorrow. And one friend or another has been here with us all week.
This is such a sad time.
And yet...small miracles and graces have been happening all week. And, thankfully, Maggi notices. Some of the bureaucratic stuff we've had to do has been greatly eased by gracious, compassionate people. And I thank God for each one of those.
Not least has been that we 3 sisters have had this time together. One night we sat here in our flannel PJs drinking port, laughing uproariously one minute at something remembered from our childhood, crying and just sitting with Maggi in her pain the next.
If you want to contact us, please email me - ega at unc dot edu
And pray for Maggi.