Merry Christmas

...or, as the full page Zondervan ad in the paper said "It's a boy!"

Most years my Christmas letter doesn't get written until well into the following year. Here it is December 27 and I'm sitting at my computer and writing to you-all. And thinking of my family and friends spread all across the world, and thinking myself lucky indeed.

This last year has been one of great change, and not a few dramas. (If you missed those, read back to, I think, my first posting on this blog spot.) And now, at the end of the year, I have survived, nay thrived on, my first semester at the University of North Carolina. In many ways I would say it is the easiest and one of the happiest I've had in the last seven years of grad school. I finally seem to be getting the hang of how to get the most out of my studying without completely stressing out and wearing myself thin. Which is not to say that I was idle, but just that I managed to stay off that treadmill of endless busy-ness.

I enjoyed my classes. I greatly enjoyed researching and writing my three term papers. I would say that the most exciting one for me was working with a mere scrap of leather (well, just a photo at this stage) that was written over 2000 years ago - from the Dead Sea Scrolls. I become more and more focused on working with text, and the more I zoom in on it, the more I love it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but full of possibilities for me and my future contribution to scholarship on ancient texts.

I worked in seven different languages this last semester: Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic, Latin, French, German, and, of course, English. The Latin is for a blind grad student whom I work with several times a week. The French and German are for research. I'm looking into a fellowship for next year that would require me to learn a new modern language - aw shucks - and hoping to do either modern Hebrew or Arabic, either of which would be extremely useful in my field.

I finished out my semester of teaching 60 undergrads Introduction to Old Testament/Hebrew Bible and loved them - and they seem to have loved me and my approach (one of enthusiasm and excitement and passion) and learned a lot - I was thrilled with their performance in the final exam - and saw a very high calibre of work.

I returned to my "home" in Grand Rapids for Christmas and spent a relaxed, laid-back five days with the Hrubys - aunt, uncle, and cousins. I'll be here for another week or so, catching up with friends, and then return to Chapel Hill for another fun-filled semester.

I have a wonderful two bedroom apartment in Carrboro (just on the edge of Chapel Hill) and love having visitors. Even at short notice! I continue to contra dance and bike and walk and have hopes of getting on to a masters rowing crew in the spring. I continue to proof read for foreign students. My church is building a Habitat for Humanity house this year and I'm involved in that project. I've met all sorts of interesting and lovely people these last few months. Isn't it amazing how a heart seems to be infinitely expandable, always making room for new friends?

I pray for you a blessed new year, my dear friends, - one full of growth and blossoming and love.

Love to you all.

Thanksgiving

As I was driving to Thanksgiving Mass this morning - one of my favorite services of all the year - I was recalling just what I have to be thankful for today. Since this time last year, I have had two surgeries, unrelated except that they were both debilitating, and am now fit, active, and healthy again. I have written, completed, defended and put away a Masters thesis, and graduated with my second Masters degree - this one, the Master of Theology - at the age of 51. Not bad, I'm thinking. Also I put together applications to PhD programs at four universitites, and in January was offered a place at the second one on my list. Not bad at all. And here I am, nearly at the end of my first semester at UNC. I have nearly all my family in the same country! And wonderful friends. I have an apartment I love, great neighbors (except the one who stole the seat off my bike), food, wine. I dance. I walk. I read. I'm happy, peaceful, reasonably busy, and if I had to find one word to describe my present state, I would say I am content.

Thanksgiving is a great day to say Thank you thank you thank you God. (Well, actually, any day is, but this one especially so.) I am glad to be alive.

Here I am again!

Oh dear! It says my last blog was September 12 - nearly two months, and here I was blithely promising that I would post once a month. Well, time got away from me. But delightfully so...I'm having such a good time here, but am on campus almost every day, all day, and then come home and read (or occasionally go out) in the evenings. And I'm loving it. Actually the teaching even more than the studying.

I have 60 students split into three classes which I teach back to back on Friday mornings. It's more of a guided discussion actually, reflecting and debating and clarifying things they've learned in the two lectures that week. And honestly, I could quite happily skip the studying and cut straight to the teaching at this point although, unfortunately, I need the further education to be able to do the further teaching. I am not required to but did hand out mid term evaluation forms to my students a couple of weeks ago, so that I could get some feedback on where I could tweak the classes into better shape - and was overwhelmed by the positive response! The overall message was "We love coming to your classes - we never liked these things before - everything from the lectures falls into place - you are so enthusiastic and passionate about your subject - when will you be lecturing because we want to come." Wow. It blew me away. I also love the one on one interaction with the students - they come and see me with questions relating to the course, and some with general academic fears (especially the freshmen) (don't I know that one), and they're often stopping me to just chat and tell me about things going on in their lives. I wonder if dyeing my hair magenta pink in September made any difference? No, probably not, but they sure did get a kick out of it! (It's nearly grown out now!)

While I was here in the summer before classes started, and was winding down from the last six months of thesis work, and easing myself into the new surroundings, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I could hang on to that feeling of well-being once classes started. And recognizing that being in a constant state of stress is not the best way to be muddling through from one semester to the next. I think just having that in mind helped me to approach this semester differently and behold (hineh as the Hebrews say) it is so. I have had about 10 weeks of classes and yes, I'm not sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but no, I don't feel like I'm on a treadmill doing a hamster imitation. And I'm even getting enough sleep!

Writing three term papers over the next 4 weeks may change my outlook, but only slightly I think. I am prepared and looking forward to writing.

So that's the major part of what I do. I always have a novel on the go - and that's my winding down time when I snuggle down into bed at night. I read a fantastic one by Louise Erdrich "Four Spirits" I think. Lovely gentle wry humor and good story. Also a slightly wistful one by Anne Tyler (one of my favorite authors) called "Ladder of Years." Right now I've just started one by Simon Winchester (author of "The Professor and the Madman" about the making of the OED) called "The Map that Changed the World" about William Smith who made the first geological map in the 17-somethings. Not exactly a novel, but gripping reading nonetheless.

Now that I've got over all my surgeries and things of the last year or so, I've started back at the gym again three mornings a week, lifting weights. Do I love it? Not really, but it's a great way to start the day - I always feel bursting with energy when I'm done - sort of like banging your head against a brick wall - great when it stops - and my body needs strength training - so it's getting it! I do love walking to and from school and around campus, and probably clock up an hour or more every day - that, or cycling. No roller blading - it's kind of boring to do on your own, and I haven't found a roller blading buddy yet. But I'm looking! And of course, contra dancing nearly every week, with some great bands, fun dancers, and new people to meet.

I think that's about all for today - and thank you all for keeping in touch with me even when I don't post blogs as often as I promised!

Reflections on first weeks at UNC

Yay! The thesis nightmare is over! I had a call from Calvin yesterday and they have accepted my thesis and thus granted my degree. That was a long haul. Now I can get on with my studies here at UNC without that other stuff hanging over me.

Well...

UNC...I'm enrolled in three seminars. Each consists of one three-hour slot per week. The first and most delightful is "Suffering in the Old Testament" taught by James Crenshaw over at Duke University (and whose work I had used in my Psalms thesis for Calvin). It is such a treat. He is approaching 70 and retirement (sadly), although he's been invited to teach at the Pontificum in Rome when he does. He is gentle, funny, widely read, and with only 6 of us in the seminar, gives great attention to each one of us. I find myself disappointed when the 3 hours are up - I could sit with him all night! This is a knotty and interesting subject to be exploring and I'm lapping it up.

The second one is "Diaspora Judaism" - that is, Judaism outside of Jerusalem. About 20 of us in this one, and all the teaching will be done by student presentations - I volunteered to do one of the first, next Monday, on the Septuagint and the Letter of Aristeas - a subject about which I have done some thinking in the past. Thus this will give me a chance to pull the ideas together and present them.

The third is "Dead Sea Scrolls." I'm not wild about the teaching style of the prof, but love the subject, and look forward to discovering more about it. And my two classmates are sympathiques.

The six weeks spent here before classes were just what I needed. I confess to being fairly indolent during this time, but don't regret it. On the contrary, I sat around a lot and thought. And the chief thing that I thought was "How can I carry this sense of ease and non-stressed-out-ness into term time?" And the answer was "Be aware." I am no longer the scared, insecure student I was seven or five years ago, and am happy to report that I am thoroughly enjoying the first weeks in school. Sure, I'm busy, but not frantic. The work load is OK. And I think I will acquit myself quite well.

I just read "Four Souls" by Louise Erdrich. Wonderful. Great characters (especially the old man). Started Ann Tyler's "The Amateur Marriage" (published 2004) last night. I like her and expect to enjoy this one too. Yes, even when I'm studying, I always have a novel on the go, and always look forward to settling down into my bed at night to read for a while.

Ah, children!

I was imbibing with some people at my favorite watering hole (the local co-op) last night where a band - a very good country/rock band - was playing. A small child of about 7 wandered by and started chatting with one of the guys in our group. She asked him what his name was, but quickly said "No, no, don't tell me. You're Mr. Basketball. Because you play basketball." She then turns to another and says, "And you're Mr. Possum because you've got a possum on your shirt of course." Of course. Then she turns to Terry and says, "And you must be, let's see, Mr. Duck." "Why Mr. Duck?" he says. "Because you look like a duck, silly." Out of the mouths of babes...

Well, after that one, I was feeling a bit anxious about what she might choose to call me! She comes and stands in front of me, fixes me with a look that seemed to see right through me and into me, and says "You're Miss Lovely." "Why would that be?" I ask. "Because everything about you is lovely." Dear child.

So you may now call me Miss Lovely.

Bathroom Haiku

I have a magnetic whiteboard in the bathroom for all the magnetic poetry my sister Susie sent me. Here are the latest Haikus:

eternal summer
torpid ennui festoons me
some good ferment soon

love weep hope absond
alleviate a mean cloud
naked she will heal

impecunious
learning individual
inspired to want more

if every kiss were
everlasting music I
happy-est could be

Manna from heaven

Well, work, actually...two jobs have dropped into my lap.

First, I met a guy who is blind, Jason, coming out of the library during my first week here. He's preparing for his Masters comprehensive exams in Classics, and needed a reader for the next month. I'm it. So, on Monday I started with him. We are working through the story of Hero and Leander as told by Ovid (poetry). In Latin of course. He reads it in Braille and I sit with the Latin dictionary and the commentary and look up stuff for him. Sounds boring, huh? Well, it was the first day. But the second day, he was sitting there nutting out a line that just wouldn't make sense and it came to me. I thought, What have I got to lose (except credibility)? So I said, Now this may be completely off the wall, but could it be this... I translated the line and he said, Brilliant! Hah! So now he's said that he's open to whatever suggestions I have. And we're working on it together. And it's fun.

Second job. I joined a local co-op organic food market and, for "volunteering" for 3 hours a week, I get a 20% discount on anything I buy there. I did my first shift yesterday evening - bagging groceries - and met all kinds of interesting people - and the staff were friendly and helpful. And came home with free freshly baked bread and vegies. That was fun too.

So I'm a pretty busy little beaver, what with work, and finishing (again) the blasted thesis. Oh, and still unpacking boxes.

Contra dancing

Must just write a bit this morning about contra dancing. Some of you know what this is. Some don't. A website describes it thus:

Ask a group of contra dancers to describe contra dancing and you will probably get many different answers. Basically, contra dancing is a high-spirited dance that can be elegant, lively and most importantly, FUN! Based upon Old English and New England country dancing with some aspects of American square dancing blended into it, the dances are danced to Irish, Celtic, Old English, Early American and modern 'traditional' tunes that are played by live bands.

Chapel Hill

Yup. I'm here.

My last couple of months in Grand Rapids were fairly miserable after a falling out with my thesis advisor. Advice: don't ever fall out with your thesis advisor. Oh well. I lost sight of why I was coming to North Carolina and so postponed (cancelled) my move planned for the end of May and decided to just sit still and think for a while about why I wanted to come and, indeed, if I wanted to come. It wasn't even so much that I didn't want to do the PhD work, but that I hated to leave Grand Rapids. I have loved living there and have wonderful friends and family there.

I talked about the decision with several trusted people, and was amazed that they all said "You can do whatever you want. If you don't want to go, that's fine." And those in Grand Rapids said "Great - please do stay." Finally, however, my friends Gideon and Angela helped me to remember why I wanted to come - simply because this is my passion and my delight - to study, to learn, to read, to write, to think, to stretch. Oh. Yes. I'd forgotten in the turmoil of the thesis mess. But yes, this is what I want to do.

And so I left GR nearly two weeks ago. But it's not really leaving as such. My friend Mary Beth said "well, I never thought of it as leaving - more like going away to school and coming home on vacations." Now there's a thought. All my life I've left places and arrived in new places, holding on to friends, of course, but, nevertheless, ending one and starting another. This time, though, I can still call GR home, and know that I have a big family and community of people who love me and whom I love there. And I have plans to go "home" at Christmas. Somehow, that made the leaving easier.

I took a week to travel down here. And the stress and depression lifted. I spent a delightful weekend in Indianapolis contra dancing, meeting up with people I'd met before at these things, and meeting some new people. Danced a lot, hung out, slept. Then two days in Lexington with one of the dancers, Charley, who was a perfect host. He took me out in the surrounding country in his little MGB with the top down of course. And went off to work in the mornings, leaving me to explore, read, and generally wind down. Then two more days, camping at night in my new little tent in national forest campgrounds beside lakes. So, by the time I arrived here in Chapel Hill, I was well rested and ready for the many small minor hassles associated with moving.

I am so laid back still that nothing fazes me. Not even having no electricity for nearly a week. Or discovering that the AC didn't work once the power was on. Many things are falling into place beautifully. I have found a church I like - actually, the first one I went to. A Catholic church which is not too big, has friendly people, good preaching (!), and a mission statement that suggests they are involved in the surrounding community and that they take their spirituality seriously. The church bulletin seems to corroborate this.

I have my new laptop, a graduation present from my dear friend Patrick. Because I got it through the university, I have 24 hour help available - a marvellous thing, when one is ironing out the glitches of a new machine - I have made almost daily use of this service! On campus, there is wireless internet everywhere, so I can sit under a tree with my cup of coffee and check my email - and have done so, if only so that I could say I can!

I've met many of my neighbors - before the AC came on, I spent a lot of time sitting out in the relative cool of the breezeway, aptly called. Next door is an extended family of Mexicans, only one of whom speaks English. My Spanish now extends to ola and como stas, but I have hopes of learning more. I keep thinking of the book I read this spring "The Short Sweet Dream of Eduardo Gutierrez" by Jimmy Breslin. The most touching thing of that book was the terrible homesickness suffered by these people who come to the US looking for a better life for their families. It makes me feel very gentle to my neighbors. I ache for them. This family have been lovely to me too - offered me a beer the evening I moved in and, when I accepted, went out to buy some. Hospitality. Then invited me in to watch TV and switched from the Spanish channel to English for me. At least 8 people live in that apartment - the same size as the one I am living in alone. I feel somehow decadent.

Also, downstairs are a young couple with a two year old. They also are fostering a two month old baby whose mother is a crack addict. We've spent a lot time talking - they are working hard to support their children in several part time jobs. And have been sweet to me in many ways, easing my transition here.

I had a letter this week outlining my TA (teaching assistant) duties for the year. I'll be TA to Armin Lange, the guy I met in the spring who may well direct my dissertation work. In the fall I will be TA for his Introduction to Hebrew Scriptures course, and then in the spring, to Introduction to Dead Sea Scrolls. Couldn't be better! I'm excited.

The manager/administrator of the Religious Studies Department, Hope, has been kind and helpful. And yesterday, she gave me the keys to the department! Literally. I feel like I've arrived. It just seemed so significant to me.

I love my apartment. It is large, airy, light. And it takes 15 minutes by bike or bus to the campus. I can walk to the grocery store. Even at night.

And there's lots of contra dancing in this area. I went to one on Friday night (less than a mile's walk from home) and another on Saturday. People were friendly and welcoming and the dancing was fun.

I met a blind guy called Jason shortly after I arrived. He has funds to pay people to read for him. He's doing a Masters in Classics and so was greatly interested in my Latin and Greek - and it's looking like I can do some reading for him straight away - and then probably on a regular basis once classes start. Very fine.

I'm reading "The Active Life" by Parker Palmer. It's been on my bookshelf for some 5 years, and I pulled it down to read it now. Timely. He talks about the balance and connection between action and contemplation. It was no coincidence I am sure, that the sermon on Sunday was about the Mary and Martha story. Hah. So I am listening carefully to God. And thinking about how I can prepare myself for the inevitable flurry and frenzy that will come when school starts. I feel like I'm being given a chance to do things a little differently than in the past, and perhaps to do it with more integrity (according to Websters "the quality or state of being complete or undivided").

I miss my community in Grand Rapids. I miss having someone to call and say "let's go out for a beer". But know I will meet some good people soon. And in the meantime, I unpack a little more each day - literally and figuratively!

Hah! I've just worked out that when I refer to Summer's comment I can create a link! Like this...Summer. Yay!

Christmas letter - 2003 (sent June 2004!)

It’s time for the Christmas letter again. Oh, you say it’s already been? Well, how about the Easter letter?

So, let’s see…Fifty is wonderful. I have had so much fun this year. I love being slim – I have so much more energy and I am very active. I eat better than I ever did before and have high hopes of this body lasting for quite a long time! My Dad sent me a T-shirt for my birthday that said “The first half century was great – now let’s see what God has in mind for the next one.” Indeed.

I have a wonderful room mate this year. Karen is an M Div student preparing for ordained ministry. We enjoy sharing the apartment, we have found we share much in terms of our history and families, and we live comfortably and peacefully together.

This last summer I mastered the fine art of roller blading (inline skating), after a few spectacular tumbles. I went out on the trails around here several times a week with a buddy and we would cover 15 miles at a time – great exercise and a very graceful thing to do. I had always envied people on their blades – it looked like poetry in motion. And now that I can do it, it still delights me.

I continue to love living here in the States near family. My aunt and uncle celebrated their 80th and 85th birthdays and 60th anniversary all in one big bash last summer. Since I live here in the same town, I got to spend time with all the cousins who came in for the do, as well as having three of my siblings staying with me in my seminary apartment. Norb continues to write plays and we went to see one of them produced last week – a timely spoof on politics; and Dolores is retiring this year from her 35-year job as Music Director for a large church. She is worried that she won’t have enough to do but, knowing her, I’m sure she’ll soon find all sorts of things to fill in the gaps. One thing she’s already talking about is learning Spanish. Needless to say, these two are a source of great inspiration to me. When I see what they’re doing, I can quite happily see myself teaching at university well into my eighties.

Which is a good thing, since I’ll be close to retirement age before I finish my PhD. Well, not quite. Many of you have heard that I have been offered a place at the University of North Carolina to study Old Testament under two Dead Sea Scrolls scholars, and I’ll be moving out to Chapel Hill in June in order to start five years of studies in the fall. It still feels like a dream.

I’ve been beavering away at my Masters thesis in a final burst since January and have been loving it – the reading, the writing, the research, the whole package. I come out of the library in the evenings just bubbling over with the delight of it all and finally dared to say “I am doing what I was created to do. This is it.” I finally know what I’m going to be when I grow up! I’m now into the last six weeks of the thesis and am glad to say it’s going well, although I’m looking forward to getting it finished. I graduate in May with a Master of Theology – not bad for the kid who dropped out before finishing her undergraduate studies – two Masters degrees in six years!

I still work for Weight Watchers as a Leader, teaching and learning in equal measures. I love the work and the people whose lives I touch and who touch mine.

I’ve been down to my sister Susie’s in Houston twice in the last six months – once for Thanksgiving week, and once for just a couple of days in February when she and her husband Jim renewed their marriage vows in church at their 10th wedding anniversary. Their girls Zoe and Lillie are 8 and 6, and they love their Aunt Lizzie coming to visit – especially when she and their Mama sing them songs, and when she takes them out skating!

At Thanksgiving I also spent a few days with my brother Jon and his family near Atlanta. And we had a wonderful nostalgic 24 hours with an old childhood friend from Beaconsfield, Charlie Taylor, who was over on business. I lost count of the number of times we said “Do you remember…?”

So, in the last year I have spent time with all my family. A good thing. And, ultimately, the reason I have chosen to stay here in the States these days.

If you are one of the people to whom I have not written personally recently, please know that I think of you – each one of you – and keep you in my prayers. And I will write. Eventually. In the meantime I hope you know that I am writing this because I can't bear to lose touch.

Thanks everyone for your welcome to the blog world.

I love languages.

So, as a linguaphile and as one who has studied biblical and other languages, I would like to respond to Summer's comment about Peter and the word "idiotes" in Acts 4.13. The Greek word "idiotes" is shown in the Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament as "layman, amateur in contrast to an expert or specialist of any kind" and specifically as "an untrained man" as it is used in Acts 4.13. While it is true that our English word idiot comes from the Greek word (and you can see the connection, can't you?), we should be very careful about reading *back* into Peter's use our own understanding of the word. Do you see what I'm saying? We think of an idiot as someone who is a sandwich short of a picnic, or a twit, or a nitwit. At the very least we use it in a pejorative way. Whereas Peter was not ascribing to the word any values, but simply saying that he didn't have the training of the scribes (or whoever).

Here's another example: we have the word dynamite, which comes from the Greek "dunamos" meaning "power, might, strength, force." So you can see how our dynamite got its name. But to say that the Greeks were thinking of something explosive when they used the word would be wrong indeed.

In short, to bring in the thought of "idiot" when talking about Peter in that situation is misleading. (And if you're wondering about being a fool for the gospel, there is no connection whatsoever, lexically at least.)

Gosh, I didn't mean this to be a lecture...

This blogspot has been created so that my friends and family can hear my Christmas news before July! It'll take a little while before I get the hang of it, but I'm sure this technophile will work it out soon. Stay posted.